Wedding Thank You Note Etiquette

Lets talk a little bit about wedding thank you note etiquette.

It is courteous to send wedding thank you notes to everyone who helped to make your wedding a special day.

Not sure if you need to send a thank you note to a certain guest? Its always better to be safe than sorry. A good rule of thumb: you should be sending out a thank you note for each gift you received.

Time Frame for Sending Your Thank You Notes

Six weeks. You’ve got six weeks. You don’t want your wedding guests to feel like you forgot about them. They should be able to remember the wedding when they receive your thank you note.

Also, you’re going to want to get this chore out of the way. By setting a reasonable time frame, you’re more likely to not procrastinate.

Bridal shower thank you notes should be sent out more quickly. There are less to send, and you won't be on your honeymoon. Aim for 7 - 15 days after the bridal shower. And yes, if someone gets you a bridal shower gift, and a wedding gift, you’ll need to send a note for each gift.

Anatomy of a Wedding Thank You Note

There are a few elements that should be included in all wedding thank you notes.

  • Thank the guest for attending (obviously)
  • Mention the gift they gave, and describe your plans for it
  • Mention some sort of personal anecdote

This last point is important. You don’t want your thank you notes to seem too cookie cutter. This can be difficult if you’re writing 100 + notes. So, always try to mention something personal either from the wedding, or from your past.

A few examples:


”You and Terry were really dancing up a storm at the reception. I had no idea you had such good moves!”


”As soon as Tom and I get back from Paris, you and I need to plan another hike. I had such a great time last fall. Maybe we’ll see another baby deer!”

Including these personal anecdotes makes the whole note writing process a lot less boring. And your friends will appreciate the extra attention.

Read through our full collection of wedding thank you note samples.

Tips for Getting it Done

Whether or not you enjoy writing thank you notes, you’re going to want to keep organized and have some sort of system to get the notes done on time. There just aren’t that many times in your life when you’re obligated to write so many letters at one time.

Here are a couple tips for getting them written without tearing out your hair.

Create a spread sheet to keep track of everything. Put every person or couple that you need to write a note to in the first column. Put their wedding gift in the second column. And use the third column to indicate whether or not you’ve written and sent their note.

Wedding Thank You Notes spreadsheet

Split the list between yourself and your spouse. You can sign them together, but you should write notes for the guests you know best, and your spouse should do the same.

Organize your supplies. Keep all of your stationery, pens (black is best), envelopes, and address book in a designated area. You’ll be well equipped to whip out a few notes when the mood strikes, and by leaving your supplies out, you’ll have a visual reminder to trigger your writing each day.

Write a certain number of notes per day. Figure out how many days you have until you’d like all the notes to be sent. Divide the number of notes you need to write by the number of days. This is your bare minimum that you should aim for each day.

There is nothing worse than feeling like you have to write 50 notes in an afternoon. If you and your spouse commit to writing 5 notes each per day, you’ll have more than enough time to get through your list in a timely manner.

Submit Your Etiquette Tips

Do you have any tips for writing wedding thank you notes, or any pet peeves when it comes to wedding thank you note etiquette. Share your thoughts in the comments.

Return from Wedding Thank You Note Etiquette, to