Edit: Thank You Note for Donation to Police Benefit

by Shenice
(Illinois)

Submitted Thank You Note:

"On behalf of members of the retracted Police Department 001st District and myself we would like to thank you for donating the fruit tray to our Annual St Jude breakfast. Generous donations made by members of the community towards honoring our fallen demonstrate that an Officers dedication to his duties does not go unnoticed.

We appreciate your donation and look forward to partnering with you in the future."




Edited:

"On behalf of all the members of the retracted Police Department and myself, we would like to thank you for kindly donating the delicious fruit tray to our Annual St Jude breakfast.

Donations made by members of the community towards honoring our fallen brothers and sisters demonstrate that an Officers sacrifice and dedication to his duties does not go unnoticed.

We really appreciate your donation and look forward to partnering with you in the future."




For the most part, the note you submitted was great. I just cleaned up the grammar a little, and helped round out the edges with some qualifying descriptors such as "kindly".

I hope this has been helpful.

Thanks for stopping by.

-Ed


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